It’s showing them honor. We have been dating for 2 years. […] September 3rd, 2018 03:38 PM Is there a difference? If that is a thing. If he’s more traditional and rough around the edges, it’s probably best to pose it as a question. But in order to justify marriage, you have to express your undying commitment to their daughter. Marriage 18 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married Some of them aren't fun to think about, but they're crucial to know. To my parents, I’m their little girl, and I’ll always be that. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. I feel like asking the parents for their blessing is more of a way to ensure a good relationship with the in laws. If you google “Questions a father should ask the man who wants to marry his daughter,” you’ll find some. I'm a single Dad with a 17 year old daughter. Outdated. How to Ask a Dad to Marry His Daughter. - r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories Try Like & Subscribe Button if it still works! He appreciated the fact that I came to him to ask. Totally depends on your culture. That's the essence of the song "Rude" by the band Magic! It doesn't always go so well. I would never do that because I find it stupid. Some would find this cute/loving and others would find it debasing. Ah, in-laws. Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too. As fathers with daughters under your care, or as big brothers who feel a godly responsibility to protect a younger sister, we fend off both worldly wolves and polite, well-groomed goats. No marriage proposal is complete without family and friends sharing their advice, hopes, and wishes for your future! Posted May 24, 2017 Luckily, the father said yes. Xanthippe_Voorhees November 7, 2017, 2:15pm … Jenny Bradley -August 18, 2015 Share on facebook. The concept of the groom approaching his beloved’s parents and asking permission to marry their daughter may be old-school to some, but it is still widely entrenched in American society today. it comes from way back in the day when a girl was her fathers property. How Contact with Grown Children Affects Parents’ Mood. And if she has brothers should I ask if there ok with it as well? Make it memorable. If you’re questioning how to ask a dad to marry his daughter, take a deep breath and follow these tips to ease the stress and make it a special moment you and your new father-in-law will treasure. These days, the notion of asking for permission is still very much alive and is one of the few wedding traditions to withstand the test of time. Out of respect for you and your family, I am letting you know my desire to marry her and allowing you an opportunity to express any concerns you might have." I mean, considering 1) my dad has been dead and 2) I'm a lesbian... r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. 15:40. Right now I want to ask her mother (she has no father) for her blessing to propose to her daughter. My advice is to focus on her feelings first and always. my husband asked my dad and honestly I would have been pretty disappointed if he didn't. The two of us (myself and FIL) have always had a good relationship and he was happy I was with his daughter so there was little doubt he would say yes. Or in the case of this post from Reddit’s AITA, future in-laws. It would be unfortunate for you to give your permission for your daughter's boyfriend to marry your daughter, when in fact, she may not want to get married -- or that she doesn't want to marry him. Try to meet him before you ask. After her mother has agreed to the marriage, inform her father that you’ve asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Pamamanhikan is when the man and his parents visit the woman’s family and ask her parents’ blessing to marry their daughter. Out of respect for you and your family, I am letting you know my desire to marry her and allowing you an opportunity to express any concerns you might have." A father-daughter relationship is key to a woman’s happiness and life. If they’re conservative they’ll adore you for asking, if they’re progressive, they might tease you a little lightheartedly, but either way, it’s a sign you’re a good egg that wants to have an open line of communication with your in-laws. Ask him what he would do differently if he could do it again. Trust your daughter’s ability to make a good choice and graciously bless them if you can. You love your daughter–but that doesn’t mean you always know the most effective ways to show that love, ways that will connect with her heart, and stick with her no matter what life throws her way.. Proposals are getting more creative, and the same goes for asking her dad for his blessing. I wouldn’t do that. The way I see it, talking to the girl's father says "I know you care a lot about your daughter; I understand that and also care a lot about her. But as a father, you are having second thoughts about the man she's going to marry. Will he be armed? Who doesn’t want to be daddy’s girl? Here’s one and here’s another. The moment is a mountain to overcome in almost any relationship, but I believe it’s a mountain we, as Christians, can capture for the good of the daughter, the suitor, and the father. Whether you are on board with this long tradition of gaining the approval from the father, or want to show your respect to your partner’s family, there are a few tips you will want to know before asking father's permission to marry. What is more important to you, her feelings or those of her parents? 2. you did not ask his permission and then hers, you just asked his, and if he thought it was a good move he would give his daughter to you. The old rule goes all the way to a time when marriage was up to the bride’s family, not so much the bride herself. In fact, the tradition dates back all the way to biblical times. But one real dad has a response to this song. In this situation you need to ask him like a man. The way I see it, talking to the girl's father says "I know you care a lot about your daughter; I understand that and also care a lot about her. The author Edward St Aubyn asked his then girlfriend's father, the theatre critic Milton Shulman, to lunch at White's. He should be applauded for the respect he showed. Have You Asked The Father Of Your Girlfriend To Marry Her And He Said No? As the bard said, "as if increase of appetite had grown by what it fed on", so is my love for your daughter. What will dad say? I know it is customary to ask the father first. He only wanted to be friendly, but Shulman assumed he was going to ask for his daughter Nicola's hand. 6. how do I ask him for permission to marry his daughter? Also, as the parents of the bride, some/most of the expense of the wedding is (traditionally/culturally) expected to come out of their bank account, and that’s something that needs to be discussed before diving in to the whole post-proposal flurry of wedding planning thing. A 16-year-old secondary school student has narrated how her own father impregnated her and is the father of her son, who is also the man's grand son. Try to meet him before you ask. I’m a millennial, but grew up in a more conservative culture, and I absolutely hope my future husband asks my parents first. She's had a room here for about 4 yrs and is here more than anywhere else. Go over the questions you think he might ask and have your answers prepared. She's been coming around for about 5 or 6 yrs. Okay so I'm nervous as hell. it evolved into asking his permission and then hers, and now finally is done as a mark of respect to the parents/father. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Should you ask a father to marry his daughter? As far as I know, your state laws do not require parental permission if she is over 18. There are plenty of those, and if that is what you are dealing with, don’t bother. Mother is optional. Consider other family members. A wet-behind-the-ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law. A boyfriend goes to his girlfriend's father to ask for her hand in marriage. 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