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May your home always be too small to hold all your friends. Sex and Love editor We love them sitting, standing, lying; if they had wings we'd love them flying. Omar Khayyam He who makes a beast of himself Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy. May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,And never catch up. Anonymous To the rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure Of drinking at somebody else's expense. ORourke, When youre bleeding in the sand When I like them, I kiss them. 2.) Ill do the same. 40 Beautiful Irish Blessings for Every Occasion. Love like youve never been hurt. Heres to the women who have used and abused us. Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. Of drinking at somebody elses expense. Because weve already lost our minds. Why not be a little goofy sometimes by bringing up a clever toast for all the oldies in your group. When you're wasted all the time. So may we always believe in the impossible and never stop chasing our wildest dreams, no matter how absurd it may seem to others., To the overthinkers, the ones who analyze every situation to death. 19.) (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Copyright 2023 Imscouting.com.com All Rights Reserved. We have only today. It is a sign of appreciation and acceptance of the toast. At break of day When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. In ancient Greece, cheersing while drinking has been an important tradition. If you Fight, may you fight for a friend. 7. 7. The best ships are friendships and to those, we drink. Sure, you could just say cheers before taking a sip of your drink. variant of the I drank to your health so many times.I nearly ruined my own." Let us begin." Mother Teresa. So why not get wasted all the time, and have the time of our life., 2. The 26 Drinking Toasts that everyone will enjoy. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. This is such a big honor for me to toast you. If you have a bawdy or erotic toast, please send it to me at . 10. 20.) May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty. [Retrieved from http://www.tamut.com/toasts/ on 15 August 2003], Here's a toast to the Man I love, he is rich 82.) Cheers to the future. Shes lost her cherry but it doesnt mean a thing, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. MDM, Success to the lover Heres to lesbians, because they have good taste. Heres to our wives and girlfriendsmay they never meet!Groucho Marx, 70.) But please don't tell his wife! To our sons. Heres to staying positive and testing negative. on May all your ups and downs be between the sheets. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.Frank Sinatra, 64.) Four blessings upon you. It has that sauciness of Irish drinking toasts, and it's better than just saying, "Drink up!" "My friends are the best friends. May your girlfriend always be horny for you. ". _____ On the heart of each sister . But the oceans not beer, and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. Heres to Dame Fortune;May she smile upon you.May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune. Pockets full of rye Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because its the present. If you go before me May we never get less Heres to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. We love 'em in leather. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there., #24. 24.) Some ships are wooden ships. ", "May the best of your past be the worse of your future. Petes opens in Ybor City, Davis Islands Bayou Bodega closes, and more Tampa Bay foodie news, St. Pete's plant-based sushi restaurant House of Vegano will move into a new space on Central Avenue, Food From the Soul, a festival that highlights cuisine from people of color, happens in Tampa next month, Florida Avenue Brewing Co.s new Seminole Heights taproom soft opens next month, St. Pete Beach wine lounge Sea Grapes reopens next week as a full-service restaurant, Aldi grocery store opening at St. Petes Tyrone Square Mall. Health to the sick If you post mine. There are many benefits to using funny drinking toasts. I say good night But the oceans not beer and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. If God wanted us sober, He'd knock the glass . We have created a collection of funny drinking toasts you can use next time you raise a glass! And drink like a true Irishman. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. So why not get wasted all the time, and have the time of our life." 2. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. A round to the worst 50.) May we live to learn wellAnd learn to live well. Im sure your friends and relatives will love all of them, so please pick a few, bookmark this page, and keep coming back.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_6',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); This section has all kinds of totally awesome hilarious toasts. May your beautiful lips never blister! Here is to staying positive and testing negative., 18. Here comes the gale Return to Toast Categories. 61.) English, Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy May the sound of happy music, and the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after. Please read this section until the end because the best dirty toast is at the end.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',601,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Do you like these somewhat dirty toasts youve just read? So fill your glass to anything Well, I hope you do, because I, Roman Marshanski, the founder of Humoropedia, wrote them. The day after. A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. Work like you dont need the money. 44.) Pour me some 12.) May they die of thirst. So do memorize them and use them at your next Thanksgiving dinner. Scottish, Tis better to buy a small bouquet May you meet drop-dead gorgeous women when they are horniest. ", "A toast to those who wish me well, and all the rest can go to hell. Id like to say a little prayer for world peace. -Phil Connors. 3. As for the rest, they can go to Hell. a company that you keep. And by a toast I dont mean Cheers or Heres to you offering those is akin to christening a battleship with a Dixie cup. These are some handpicked toasts from the book by Ivor Ben McIvor aptly named Scottish Toasts. The Irish are famous for their colorful sayings and quotes. That the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out. 6. Dirty toasts for St. Patrick's Day drunks. If you Steal, may you steal a lovers heart. Here are some funny drinking toasts to make birthdays more special and induce gales of laughter. -No matter how beautiful, smart, and full of class. (pronounced Ban-awch(k)-tee nah Fay-leh Paw-rig ur-iv!) 16.) These funny drinking toasts will leave you inspired and have the guests rolling with laughter. And give to your friend this very day If your friends share sarcastic humor, you can only win with this one. Dance like nobodys watching.Satchel Paige, 73.) MDM, Heres hoping you live forever 29. A cold pint and another one. But never about our thirst. I drank to your health in company. ", "I drank to your health in company. 0 Shares. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. Heres the whores For toasts that are primarily for men click here ; for toasts that are primarily for women click here . Best while you have it, use your breath To the kisses weve snatched, and vice versa. http://davidlawmusic.com/blog/2013/9/27/collection-of-drinking-toasts Another famous toast you can use at your best friends bachelor party. 20. 2. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. Here are some funny Christmas toasts to help you make the most out of the beautiful memories of Christmas. May we continue to go about our daily lives, completely unaware of the fact that were being controlled by superior beings from outer space. 56.) till it's out of me and out of you. Another day another bender. Honor to the brave Learn more about one of Americas favorite drinks, the Bloody Mary. 40 of the Best Drinking Toasts 1. Heres to it, and from it, and to it again, and if you dont do it when you get to it, you may never get to it to do it again! Please share this page with your friends on social media right now because that will help me to continue publishing totally awesome stuff for you and everyone else. If you see me lying 11.) 5. It's your birthday, so drink as many glasses as you want. I have a great fear of falling. Dr. Loyal, willing, and able. Out with the old. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there." "I drank to your health in company. As per my agreement with AI company, Im supposed to tell you that the paragraph above was written by AI, though I made a few edits. The best wedding toasts for raising a glass to the new couple. 4. Heres to the great artistic genius, Pablo Picasso. Gets rid of the pain of being a man. These toasts for drinking will surely bring a smile to everyones face who hears them. If you like this funny Irish toast created by AI, youll also like this totally awesome list of 55Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs. Heres to that long straight piece in Tetris. MDM, Drink like a lion And real pain to our sham friends. So someone get a ladder. Two at the very most. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.Ogden Nash, 68.) Conditions of S shes a major pain in the ass. And to all the governments out there, remember: you may think youre in charge, but youre just pawns in the grand scheme of things. We wish that we might die. So fill your glass to anything. Theyre perfect for any party. Some people drink from a glass half empty and some drink from a glass half full. Return to Toast Categories. To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Check out these interesting martini quotes and captions. 17. Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all! Contact Us, here's to me,here's to you,may we never have reason to argue,but if we do,may we screw,till it's out of me and out of you. 29.) Throw hand grenades. Here's to champagne for our real friends, and a real pain to our sham friends. Here are some hilarious and lighthearted drinking toasts you can make when youre out drinking with your friends. I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know. May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. If you're going to cheat, cheat death. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain, 79.) To a Good Time. Its old news In that case, it is perfectly acceptable to thank the person for the toast without drinking. Little . But the ocean's not beer and I'm not a duck, so let's drink these pints and get messed up. monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b", Group of friends celebrating with champagne; Photo credit: Flashpop(Getty Images), Friends Toasting Wineglasses During Party; Photo credit: Mirko Vitali / EyeEm (Getty Images). If youre going to steal, steal a heart. The next time you're feeling stumped and speechless, feel free to keep one of these in your back pocket and you're sure to get a few cheers, tears and even a few raised beers. Smart and full of class Than an anonymous alcoholic. Drink to fair woman, who, I think,Is most entitled to it;For if anything drives men to drink,She certainly can do it. No retreat no surrender. Acute Middle Left Abdominal Pain: When to Call the Doctor? Lets have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies.Holly Black, 63.) May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live. Whether it's at a wedding, anniversary, birthday, funeral, or just another night at the bar, we've all had or will have to give a toast at some point in our lives. May the lilt of Irish laughterlighten every load.May the mist of Irish magicshorten every road.And may all your friends rememberall the favors you are owed. I win all And lean well over the rail. May you continue to bring chaos and hilarity wherever you go., Heres to the procrastinators, the ones who always leave things until the last minute. Toasts Quotes. Heres to the women, with little pink shoes; who steal all our money and drink all our booze; now, shes not a virgin but thats not a sin, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. MDM, Dont know if Ive lied to the angels 14.) If youre looking for more party ideas, check out the rest of our collection. 58.) If you Drink, may you drink with me. 14. When I meet them, I like them. 28.) Bawdy Drinking Toasts Here are bawdy, erotic or scatological toasts that can be said by either gender. Wouldnt that be a nice toast to one of your real friends? Suggested read: Top 9 Birthday Party Games for Adults. Always a good one to bring up as a wedding toast. Theres many a toast Id like to say, If I could only think it, so fill your glass to anything, and, thank the Lord, Ill drink it., 14. Of course, for this they need a Russian company. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. ", "Here's to that long straight piece in Tetris. To four in the morning! MDM, Our enemies never drink Here's to those who sit when they pee. And tell between the two. Dance like no-one is watching Screw like it's being filmed And drink like a true Irishman. Heres to your liver!May it live as long as you last. But a whiskey glass and a fat girl's ass are home, sweet home to me. Lord Byron, Heres to the bullets Getting honor, keeping honor and if you can come in her, come on her (honor). If you are looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 Drinking Games. Then youll also enjoy reading these funny friendship quotes. Looking for some fun party games to liven up your next get-together? Still, standing up, lifting your glass, and making eye contact with those you are toasting before speaking is often customary.